the fields of grass sway
under rush of morning breeze
long blades bow deeper
we walk a narrow pathway
inhaling the victory
I've said it before, but you're very good at tan renga, Atticus. :) I like the way the wind-sweep is made to lay the emotional groundwork for a more personal sense of triumph in the couplet; I have the impression of a couple arm in arm, quietly celebrating a life well lived.
Thanks James, I'll start reading here and on your Blog ~ commenting there as well.
You don't have to comment over there, Atticus, but you should know that that's where my new stuff will be. :)